my dad tried to poison me just now.
i dont know how or where he got it from but my throat really hurts la.
he came with a cup.
said it was some kind of fruit mixture.
said it tasted nice.
when i took the cup and looked at what was inside, i recoiled.
the colour was like some kinda mud/shit water.
tasted about there too.
like ashes + shit + mud + sand + water + a slightest hint of mint.
not nice at all.
i had to force myself to swallow it.
and now because of that my throat's very dry and pain.

i had an extremely sleepless night yesterday.
migrane and fever. 39.5 degrees.
i tossed and turned but just couldn't get to sleep.
the pain was unberable.
i think i went nuts.
like.
i was pounding my head and i screamed.
but the sceam wasn't very loud cos of my throat.
i can barely speak.
when i speak i do so in a whisper.
so i was going crazy.
even cried out to god. it did help a little. but after awhile, i stopped praying cos my concentration faltered.
the migrane lasted through the whole of last night till early this morning around 9am.
that was until i vomitted then i felt much better.
didn't have much of an appitite.

i realised something.
there is no one out there who cares for me.
like.
nobody bothered to call/msg me to ask if i'm alright.
unless i first started a conversation via sms, i havn't received pretty much of a msg on my handphone.
the last time i was down with fever, my parents would come into my room and check my temperature every morning, night, before they go out, when they just reached home and every other hour.
but now.
its been cut down to either once a day or just asking me at dinner if i'm okay.





and i ask myself why do i care?