i couldn't resist two videos =P
lol.
as in.
i really like both of them.

scroll down and pause one of them to prevent chaos on your speaker =P

right now, move along's really like a song that i listen to for meaning, and beep is a song that i listen to for the tune. and the girls are hot!
beep's really addictive.
like. 'ha ha-ha ha-ha ha ha-ha ha. ha ha-ha ha-ha ha ha-ha ha' makes me really wanna dance.

which reminds me.
i really wanna go for hip hop class today. but. i'm too lazy to get out of the house. so, i wont be going this week. but i will be going next week(i think).
i wonder if belinda(the instructor) still uses beep for her classes. havn't been to dance class for the past two weeks already, thanks to my throat infection.
oh well.

have been doing alot of thinking.

the only reason i'm putting myself through every single day is because the only way to go to heaven is to die of old age, illness, sickness, accident or assasination. to sum it all up, as long as i dont plan/intend to die/commit suicide, i'll go to heaven. if i plan/intend to die/commit suicide, i'll go to hell.
going to heaven might mean having to celebrate all day by myself, in my own room in his mansion. and going to hell might be worse that having migrane all day, consistant burning of my flesh but not turning to ashes and i wont die. but the worst part is that God isn't gonna be there when i call out to him for redemption. it would be too late. and perhaps, the suffering might be worse each time i call out to him, or even think of him.
so going to heaven beats going to hell.
that is, if God really exists.
like the whole religion thing.
what if, its just some thing cocked up by mankind so that they'll have a purpose in life??
if it isn't real, after i die, nothing'll happen. i'll just become ashes, lying in some deserted cemetry. and thats all there is to it.
but, just to be on the safe side, i'd rather not die intentionally. just in case. just in case there really is a heaven and hell.

so there. thats the real reason behind the reason why i'm not suicidal.
no matter how much i loath each day and the elements in it.
i have to endure.

i seriously need a block of concrete, and the guts to bang my head on it real hard.
that'll keep me from thinking.
yup.