i know what i said about chinese, but dont you think the part where she dances with a group of people is, well, kinda nice?? the rest is retard.

Dance Dance
Fall Out Boy

She says she's no good with words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out
"A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic
Tonight it's "it can't get much worse"
Vs. "no one should ever feel like.."

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

You always fold just before you're found out
Drink up its last call
Last resort
But only the first mistake and I...

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress, love

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress (mattress, mattress)
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead

Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance

The following text had been BlogLocked. Select all, copy and paste into BlogLock and decrypt with the correct password.

[START]˻̃̏̒̒̅̃̔˽ഡ೘തധമഝ೘ലങദദ[END]

you're staring at the butt of queen latifah.

hands up all those who agree thats a bad haircut.

two birdiees. awwwww.

erm....

thats the leaning tower of tau gay.

zann dearest and me

CLB oral exam. jamie's at the back

that's mr tan. lay lian's hair is so freaking long!!!

zann's and mine

its jamie's art research. that looks plain wrong.

it looks like a swan no?

zannut butter

i look like a mental retard freak!

PFT shuttle run station. damn crowded.

see. that's what happens to people who point the middle finger.

zann took this

lim soon wai wote this on the board during physics magnetism test which was after our PFT.

now isn't that nice?

say hi to my pinkie :)

now what do we have here?

a chair broke. i dont know how, but i didn't do it.

ahaha. dolphin said hi.



so i had another spiritual opression attack.
or at least thats what randolf said it was.
there was a presence. and a voice in my head that didn't belong to me, my conscience or god.
oh. and i couldn't move.

so in my head i started saying jesus jesus jesus jesus.....
and slowly i could move my mouth. and a tried to resist and break out of the position. each time i said the word jesus, i could feel the grip on my body loosen.
when i could finally move i commanded the presence to go away in jesus name. and that i am covered in the blood of the lord jesus christ.

i felt a whole lot better.

but i was still freaked out. so i called jonathan. that !@#$%^&*() rejected my call! xtao ting's phone was off and zann was asleep. so i sms-ed jonathan, sherron, randolf and xiao ting. all replied me the next morning.

they talked to me in church. randolf gave me the most productive answer.

thank god for randolf.

he told me that the devil can play with my mind and all. but he cant touch me cos i'm a child of god.

and he said tell the presence to get lost in the name of jesus christ.


its five thirty.
i gotta go for dinner at my grandma's
someone save me.

so long everyone.
till i return.

my mum says i wont be able to use the net from today onwards till the end of my examinations. which means a whole one week. oh no. oh nonononono.

i knocked my head against the side of the glass table in the kitchen when i was picking up the many bits of ice that zann kindly dropped on the floor and went uh oh.

the bump is still there and it freaking hurts when i touch it.
"then dont touch it" some may say. well fyi, i like to caress/rape/molest my face. i cant help it. its just too irresistable. =P

oh. did i say ouch?
ooooOOOoooWWWWwwwWWwwwWWWwwww....

and while rolling around on the chair, one of the wheels went over my big toe and cut the skin above the cuticle.

oooooooooOOOOoooooWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwww...

and then, i was plauged by my sinus the whole day. up till now. its still flowing. i took keith's tissue box and used up all the tissue. =P on top of the sinus, i had a slight headache during lunchtime.

oh. i did something really productive today. i taught zann the basics of e math coord geometry =) (zann, thanks for pretending you dont know a thing). there was a sense of stastisfaction when i saw her get 3/4 of the questions right. the one that she got wrong was because the ' , ' looked like a '+' and hence there was a mistake with the general formula.

muahahahaha.




dont you think this is so f**king sexy?
i do too. drools.
the red hot chilli pepper guy's imitating david bowie. in a good way. its about representing the bands that made an impact on rock music.

oh. i dont like daryl chia.
keith was eating some kinda bread in class and i was like. keith. can i have some pleeease? and he was like no. and i went. just a little bit. the crust there. and he relented. then stupid daryl said. "charlene. later you become from XL to XXL."

WTH la. i know i'm fat, big sized, tall, intimidating and not good looking. but i am still human. and sometimes i pretend that i dont care, but such comments really hurts me. like when jia jun from haising called me a gorilla. i know he was just teasing and all. but it hurts la. and i just smile, pretending that i think its funny and say "yea you better run or this gorilla's gonna come after you" and when john from faith42'06 called me a 'guai wu' last year i felt like kicking him in his balls and making sure that he'll never have the joy of celebrating father's day ever. i hate john.

no matter what people tell me about size doesn't matter/its the inner beauty that counts crap, i still know that people avoid/dislike me because of that.

its one thing being tall, skinny and sexy. its another being tall, big boned with a bulging tummy.

fine. i shalln't let those festering maggots bother me.

BAH!

there's church tomorrow. and prayer meeting after that, and cell group after that. i'm spiritually drained. so no comments on church. i still love God though.
tuition in the morning. zann's coming over after tuition.

oh. tagboard.
why isn't anyone tagging anymore?
its so stagnant nowadays.

zann. we'll study real hard. you'll pass your math and science. then we'll see if your dad still has anything to say. ok? *hugs*

videos again =)

haha.

i am so in love with two songs.
first it was dani california.
it was on repeat track on my mp3 for like a week. i listened to it a thousand times. but i'm still not sick of the song.

then came along coming undone.
god!
I LOVE THAT SONG!!!!
"i'm coming undone to late i'm coming undone...."
like. it really makes you wanna shake your head back and forth.

dont get me wrong. i'm still not sick of dani california. the bass for that song is hard. but i'm learning it. coming undone is a song that makes me unstressed when i'm stressed. it makes your heartrate increase like by a thousand times and gives your brain an adrenaline rush. thats a true rock song.


and as for the hardest part, i saw it on mtv yesterday.
i was speechless.
like. a young guy and a little granny dancing around in skin coloured tights with black underwear on the outside.

come to think about it. its some what like superman. i mean the underwear part. its just that his underwear is red.

oh. and the underwear. like what the hell were they thinking?? black gstring and black only-god-knows-what-that-is?!?!?!

its good friday today. 14042006. it was on this day 1973 days ago that christ was crucified. yes. the son of god that loves you, me and every single one of you out there. yup.

i'm gonna get ready to go to church now. there's a prayer meeting later at seven.

toodles.

Coming Undone - Korn

Coming Undone - Korn

Keep holding on
When my brain's tickin' like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts have come Again to get me
Sweet bitter words
Unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along mocking bird
You don't affect me

That's right
Deliverance of my heart
Be straight
Be deliberate

[Chorus]
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate

Choke choke again
I thought my demons were my friends
Getting me in the end
They're out to get me
Since I was young
I've tasted sorrow on my tongue
And this sweet chugga gun
Does not protect me

That's right
Trigger between my eyes
Please strike
Make it quick now

[Chorus]

I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like i'm not getting better
Not getting better

[Chorus]



click here to download the song

The Hardest Part - Coldplay

The Hardest Part - Coldplay

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
Oh and I
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do, it's just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part

Dani California - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Dani California - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Gettin' born in the state of Mississippi
Poppa was a copper and mamma was a hippie
In Alabama she was swinging hammer
Price you gotta pay when you break the panarama

She never knew that there was anything more than four
What in the world does your company take me for

Black bandana sweet Louisiana
Robbin' on a bank in the state of Indiana
She's a runner, rebel and a stunner
Come on every way saying baby what ya gonna

Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal 45
Just another way to survive

[Chorus:]
California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
Yeaaah, yeaaah

She's a lover, baby and a fighter
Should've seen her coming when it got a little brighter
With a name like Dani California
The day was gonna come when I was gonna morn ya
A little loaded she was stealing another breath
I love my baby to death

[Chorus]

Who knew that aww the side of you
Who knew that all this time you've been
Too true to say good bye to you
Too true to say say say

Pustribator, gifted animator,
One for the now and living for the later
Never made it up to Minnesota
North Dakota man was a gunnin' for Dakota
Down in the badlands she was saving the best for last
It only hurts when I laugh
Gone too fast...

[Chorus 2x]




click here to download the song.

1824: Lord Byron dies

Lord Byron, the great English poet, dies from a fever in Missolonghi, Greece. Mourned as a national hero in Greece, Byron had donated £4,000 to the Greek navy and personally came to the country to unite nationalist factions in their struggle for independence from the Turks. He died shortly after taking command of a brigade of Christian Souliot guerrillas from the Greek region of Epirus. Remembered for his epic poems Childe Harold's Pilgrimage and Don Juan, Byron was one of the most popular poets of his day and the epitome of the sensual Romantic figure. His idealistic accounts of his travels to Greece did much to awaken Europe to the plight of the Greeks under Ottoman rule.

source: http://www.thehistorychannel.co.uk/site/this_day_in_history/this_day_April_19.php

here's one of his works.

Darkness, first published in 1816

I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came and went--and came, and brought no day,
And men forgot their passions in the dread
Of this their desolation; and all hearts
Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light:
And they did live by watchfires--and the thrones,
The palaces of crowned kings--the huts,
The habitations of all things which dwell,
Were burnt for beacons; cities were consum'd,
And men were gather'd round their blazing homes
To look once more into each other's face;
Happy were those who dwelt within the eye
Of the volcanos, and their mountain-torch:
A fearful hope was all the world contain'd;
Forests were set on fire--but hour by hour
They fell and faded--and the crackling trunks
Extinguish'd with a crash--and all was black.
The brows of men by the despairing light
Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits
The flashes fell upon them; some lay down
And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest
Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smil'd;
And others hurried to and fro, and fed
Their funeral piles with fuel, and look'd up
With mad disquietude on the dull sky,
The pall of a past world; and then again
With curses cast them down upon the dust,
And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd: the wild birds shriek'd
And, terrified, did flutter on the ground,
And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes
Came tame and tremulous; and vipers crawl'd
And twin'd themselves among the multitude,
Hissing, but stingless--they were slain for food.
And War, which for a moment was no more,
Did glut himself again: a meal was bought
With blood, and each sate sullenly apart
Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left;
All earth was but one thought--and that was death
Immediate and inglorious; and the pang
Of famine fed upon all entrails--men
Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh;
The meagre by the meagre were devour'd,
Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one,
And he was faithful to a corse, and kept
The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay,
Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead
Lur'd their lank jaws; himself sought out no food,
But with a piteous and perpetual moan,
And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand
Which answer'd not with a caress--he died.
The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two
Of an enormous city did survive,
And they were enemies: they met beside
The dying embers of an altar-place
Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things
For an unholy usage; they rak'd up,
And shivering scrap'd with their cold skeleton hands
The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath
Blew for a little life, and made a flame
Which was a mockery; then they lifted up
Their eyes as it grew lighter, and beheld
Each other's aspects--saw, and shriek'd, and died--
Even of their mutual hideousness they died,
Unknowing who he was upon whose brow
Famine had written Fiend. The world was void,
The populous and the powerful was a lump,
Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless--
A lump of death--a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes and ocean all stood still,
And nothing stirr'd within their silent depths;
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,
And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd
They slept on the abyss without a surge--
The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,
The moon, their mistress, had expir'd before;
The winds were wither'd in the stagnant air,
And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need
Of aid from them--She was the Universe.

source: http://englishhistory.net/byron/poems/darkness.html

42 "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large milestone tied around his neck. 43 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go to hell, where the fire never goes out. 45 And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. 47 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, 48 where
" 'their worms does not die, and the fire is not quenched.'
49 Everyone will be salted with fire.
50 "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other."

-Mark 9:42-50


randolf shared with us during area prayer meeting yesterday.

he's a great guy. ex-gangster who repeated his o levels two or three times. cant remember. he got saved and repented.

when i knew him in sec one, he was waiting for his results and told me he knew by faith, that he did well in his o levels. then he went to ns and i didn't see much of him for two years.

its been four years now. he's changed alot. for the better i must say.

he used to be really serious and all. like. when he's around, everyone's all solem. after ns, he's lighten up a whole lot more, taken up playing with lighters as a hobby and turned into a monkey. lol. must have been the confinement period with the guys.

speaking of ns. sherron's going to ns soon. and so is jonathan. oh boy. i cant wait to see their hair chopped off. lol.

i remembered last year, the shock i had when sherron chopped off his hair. it used to be long. like those cheena boybands kinda long. then one fine saturday, i saw a face. he looked kinda familiar. when i stared harder, i realised that it was him. lol. i got a shock of my life.
it was scary.

back to randolf. he shared about save one more for jesus (s1m4j) and all. he took out the lighter and literally touched the flame. my brother saw it. he said it was no illusion. when randolf's concerned, i believe him. he asked jonathan oh to demonstrate for him and put the lighter close to his hand. jonathan oh said it was pain. and randolf asked us. if you guys can feel the pain, what about your friends? the ones who do not know jesus? do you think they can take the pain?

there's something about randolf that commands respect. like when he's serious, he's dead serious. and thats despite the fact that his sentes are littered with tonns of 'okay'.

he asked us to turn to mark 9:48. where their worms do not die and the fire is not quenched.

its like. i've been wondering a hell lot about heaven and hell lately. and there. randolf spoke about it. he even had a dream about heaven and hell. he said hell to him is fire, darkness and worms.

hell to me is darkness. and absence of god.

and no thanks to randolf. i cant stop thinking about worms. "not those kinda worms that wou squash and they die. these worms will gnaw continuously at your flesh."


during cell, jonathan felt dejected. the cell attendence is dropping. from a ninteen to nine to five(not including jonathan and joshua). then he asked us why we came for cell and church. and he wanted the truth. not politically correct answers.

so i told him.

seriously if you ask me, i dont know why i'm still coming to church. if i dont come to church, my parents will question me. and now i'm here in church, and you question me why i'm here. i dont have answers to give you. i guess i'm here waiting for god to speak to me. the last time i was so fired up for god was after the outer limits camp in pri 6. since then, i've been on and off with god. but the incident that happened end of sec two affected my spiritual life. and its never been the same.

no matter how much i lie to myself, gilbert really affected me. and there was more before gilbert.

its like a burden to me.

but no matter how much i try, it wont get any lighter.

its hard. but i'm holding on for the sake of god.