fuck.
thats how i'm feeling right now. like fuck. like how you feel after a bad shag. and you regretted even going into bed. even wores still if you were the one who initiated it.

i'm angry pissed with the whole world. pissed. PISSED! fuck the stupid government matchmaking service that brought my parents together. fuck god for letting my life get so miserable

why is it that everytime you love someone, they just dont seem to love you back even though they say they do? i've tried. i really did. i'm just so exhausted. mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. i'm so emotionally drained.

whenever the person you love does something to make you feel really depressed, you can think of a thousand reasons to hate that person. but you tell yourself, its alright, i'm ok, i think God can explain. you sometimes get so down and wonder why you even bothered loving that person. and you give up trying, even though you cant bring yourself to 'un-love' that person. and when that person becomes nice to you again, you forget all about 'i give up' and 'forgive' that person.

and then the whole thing repeats itself again.

note to those who know, dont know or have absolutely no idea who i'm talking about: dont ask.

i dont know why i'm mad with the world. i just want to be left alone, but not left alone. i need to cry. but nowadays, i never seem to get beyond the 5th teardrop.

tomorrow would be my 3rd day of examinations. the mid years are a shock to me. and my prelims are gonna come real soon. but i'm not even prepared. and i dont feel the sense of urgency at all. not until the day before the paper, like now.
what is wrong aith me?

arggh. i just wasted two hours.two hours that should have been spent studying for my geog paper tomorrow. i'm so screwed. its 12 am now. all the best to me.

13 more days to end of mid years.