i went blog surfing again. lol. found a new read-worthy blog. talkcocksummit. although they some times can be really uncouth and uncivillized, you gotta agree with me that this blog really lifts your spirits up. lol. here's one post.


The Art of Stoning

Nope, don't get your ideas wrong, this has nothing to do with killing people by throwing stones at them, but this has everything to do with your school life. Stoning is the ultimate energy saver, conserving your brain power for when you need it most, such as in an intellectual game of bridge.
Stoning is an art that requires much technique and skill, and as usual, the ever-reliable tcs gives you all you need to know about it.
Like enzymes, which have an optimum temperature for reaction, there is an optimum stoning period for every individual, which can be easily calculated.

Step 1: Take out your timetable
Step 2: Highlight all the free periods

The ones which you DID NOT highlight are the optimum periods for perfecting your stoning technique.
Now stoning is something like meditation. In that you have to be thinking of nothing. Find the gap between your thoughts. Except that stoning is way harder, because your eyes have to be open. Essentially, it is sleeping with your eyes open. Now for a detailed step-by-step guide.

step 1: run 10km
step 2: do 10 sets of 25 push-ups
note: do step 1 and 2 before school starts.
step 3: stare at a certain point
step 4: don't blink, and continue staring until you don't know what the hell you are staring at.
step 5: Now clear the rest of the thoughts from your mind.

Slowly, you enter Nirvana. The whole world is a blur and you don't give a damn as to what is happening around you. All you want to do is to stay in that blissful state where nothing really matters. Sadly and inevitably, some idiot will come to drag you out of this enchanted world by tapping on your shoulder or screaming at you to pay attention or whatever. What you have to do in this scenario is to stone him/her. In this case, it means throwing stones at him/her, and the bigger the better. That'll really make him enter Nirvana. It's always nice to spread the art of stoning around.

Postures for stoning:
Sitting with hand supporting head--- This is quite common. For the mediocre and uninitiated practitioners. They are everywhere.
standing--- For those with powerful legs. Can be found on MRT trains and buses.
half-squat---For those with even more powerful legs, found at ri swimming pool.
lying down---stone cold and very hard, though whether they have muscles is hard to say. Found in mortuaries.
Skill levels
level 1: sotong: you stare with your mouth open like some retard
level 2: apprentice: your eyes sparkle with ignorance
level 3: practitioner: you enter coma
level 4: master: your soul leaves your body
max level: grandmaster: After so much stoning, you've become....... a stone!

Well Done! The whole world is so proud of you

-adapted from talkcocksummit.